Rendezvous at Azad Park

To be frank, I don’t care about these religious galas where they put up grand palace like pandals with multiple blaring loudspeakers and each of them letting out a different bhajan (so the end result being a jumble of noise and nothing else) and hoards of people who mostly come just for the heck of it and no religious feelings whatsoever. I really don’t understand the purpose of such extravagance. They say it’s to please the gods. I say the way they sing bhajans is no less than torturing them (and the people who live around such pandals). And many of the bhajans they sing are parodies of Bollywood item numbers. So pious! To me it’s just ‘making a show’ out of their so called oh-how-great-and-religious-we-are attitude.

 So, when my mom asked me to get ready for the Durga Puja happening at the nearby park (meant for children to play) I was definitely irritated. I did not want to go. Such places bore me a lot. But I know there is no way I can fight over it with mom. She with a combination of bewildering arguments and emotional fuss will always have the last laugh. So I cut short the useless argument with mom and opened my cupboard to find out what to wear. Mom had strictly ordered me to wear something ‘suitable for Puja’.

I reach there with my family and I am immediately taken aback by the sheer crowd present there, some sitting, mostly standing and swaying their hands and heads in such a way as if it is a rock performance going onstage and not really bhajans. It wasn’t even 5 minutes I reached here and I was already bored. It seemed I was the only one who was not chilling out there. To make things worse there was no place to sit and we stood at the back corner of the pandal like discards. Mum was already stretching her neck to look over the crowd to see the stage and clapping her hands simultaneously. I decided to slip from there and go to a much less suffocating area. I tell my mum to give me a missed call when it was time to leave. (Which was not going to happen anytime soon). She did not even seem to notice. I made my way out of the crowd like a warrior and took me nearly 10 minutes to get to the comparatively sparsely crowded outskirts of the pandal where numerous Chaat-wallahs, tikki-wallahs, momo-wallahs etc where enjoying their brisk business today.

I was feeling a little hungry myself and decided to have a plate of momos. I started moving towards the momos-cart and I had just put my hand inside my back pocket when I saw her.

She struck me like a lightning. She was the most striking face I ever saw. I skipped my heart beat the instant I saw her. She was pure radiance. Her face trickled with joy. It was the most serene smile I ever saw. She looked absolutely gorgeous in the yellow lights of the pandal. I just kept looking at her. It felt as if I was suddenly cut off from the clamour of the pandal and pushed into a strange tranquillity and she stood in a spotlight that only I could see. Time felt frozen. Her minutely plump face gave her face such an incredible childish innocence. Her nose seemed like a work of art. Her hair moved with a magical air. And her eyes, it was her eyes that struck me with the cupid’s arrow. Those were the most delightful pair of eyes. They were so vivid. And there was so much warmth and a look of reassurance in those big beautiful brown eyes, I felt hypnotised. It was a kind of spectacle that I had never seen before.

Then suddenly she looked at looked at me.  And the entire dreamy world around me came crashing down and brought me back to earth, not because her look was fierce or something, in fact it was a very childlike look that she gave me, but because I was totally blown away by her look. Her direct look on my face made me regain my consciousness. She gave me an amused smile. Then I realized that I had been standing there with my hand in back pocket for a while. Gosh, I was embarrassed. I stood there like stupid staring her with my hands pressed against my bum. And the worst part was, she noticed it. One unwritten rule with boys is that, it’s ok to stare at a girl as long as you want, till she catches you. And she did. What could have been more humiliating? I managed smiling back to her. But she turned her face away. I felt a tinge of anger at that.

I started walking towards the momos-cart as if nothing had happened. But something had already happened inside me. The tinge of anger I felt had vanished the instant it had come. I wasn’t able to resist looking back at her. But felt highly intimidated. I made some two to three steps more when I thought, ‘Come on, what’s the big deal about looking at her?’ I turned my head back once again hoping she isn’t looking at me. I saw her. She was still sitting on the park bench with her friend whom I hadn’t noticed till now. Her friend looked rather ordinary. Don’t know if it’s a valid observation but why is a pretty girl always accompanied by a not-so-pretty friend. Anyway, both were laughing about something. Something about their laugh made me feel they were laughing talking about me. Strangely enough, I regretted her not looking at me. Now I hoped she had looked at me. After the impact that her look had on me, I felt a little disheartened that I should be so insignificant to her. Maybe I was just another irrelevant fellow among her countless admirers.

Hungry just a while back, I asked for a plate of veg. momos half-heartedly and handed over the money to the momo-seller. I was waiting for my plate when I gave a quick head jerk back at her. And I caught her walking away. And within a moment I found my legs walking towards her direction and it took me a second to realize that I was following her. I was paying no heed to the momos guy who was shouting behind asking me to take away my plate of momos. For the first time in my life, I was stalking a girl. I realized that the influence she had on me with that one look was more than I imagined. They stopped at the park entrance and were buying ice cream from a vendor. I stood looking at them from a distance behind a shrub. Just when I thought it was a safe place to keep looking, her friend caught me. She said something in the ears of Miss Brown Eyes and they both burst out giggling. Relieved that at least they were not alarmed by me looking at them, this time I gave them a careful measured smile. To my further relief, they responded with some more giggling. But my eyes were fixed upon just her, Miss Brown Eyes, that’s what I had decided to call her. I wondered should I be going to her and talk. But then I saw her picking up her mobile phone and talking to somebody and the next second they were both moving towards the pandal. For once, I was really excited to go back there. I was about a 100 feet behind them and pretty sure she knew I was following her. I hoped to get a look back. But they were already inside the pandal and both moved separate directions into the crowd. Maybe to join their respective families, I thought. But who cares about her friend, I moved into the crowd, in the direction Miss Brown Eyes went. The crowd had grown even more and I thought these people are killing all the romance I was feeling. I tried stretching my neck and then my toes to locate her, but I couldn’t find her among the swarms of people. I stood there hoping to see her. I was the only one who seemed uninterested in the proceedings on stage and people were looking me with looks that said ‘you creepy atheist’. I was growing restless. I had turned casually towards my right when I saw her standing at a distance amidst the crowd. Not Miss Brown Eyes but her friend. She wasn’t looking at me. But I saw her smiling, a rather mischievous looking smile. Then I realized she was smiling at somebody before her in the crowd. I pulled my neck slightly to see that she was smiling looking at Miss Brown Eyes stuck between the crowds herself. And they were both smiling at each other and honestly they looked quite stupid doing that. I thought they had not noticed me. They were still smiling at each other making eye movements now, as if they were talking to each other through eyes (Girls I had heard are good at it). But once again, my eyes were fixed just upon Miss Brown Eyes. Then Miss Brown Eyes made a hand gesture and soon they were both making their way out of the crowds. I faintly imagined were they playing with me. As I emerged out of the crowd myself I saw Miss Brown Eyes and her friend standing a few yards away seeming to be waiting for somebody. I noticed Miss Brown Eyes smiling in some kind of amusement. God, she looked amazing. Her friend had a rather nervous smile. It would have been so much better if this pesky friend of her wasn’t present at all. I was pretty confident now that they were waiting for me to approach. But I had my apprehensions for sure. It was a little more than half an hour that I had seen her and she was making it appear that her doors are already open for me. I felt somewhat sexy thinking that. Of course Abhay, you are one big stud. Girls just need one look to fall for you. I was saying to myself in my mind. All that feeling that I was irrelevant for her felt like a feeling of ancient times. They were still standing there doing seemingly nothing.

Then I heard a voice. It was loud childish voice screaming at the top of the lungs, ‘Suhanaaaaaa Didiiiiiii‘. I turned my head back and saw a chubby, stubborn looking kid, about 10 years old I guess, looking at them. Then I saw Miss Brown Eyes, she was looking at him too. Evidently, the boy had called her name out. I assumed the boy wasn’t going near to them because he wasn’t wearing any footwear. He stood at the edge, where the pandal carpet ended. I saw Miss Brown Eyes talking to her friend. There appeared to be some kind of convincing and persuasion going on between them. But I wasn’t able to make out who was persuading who and for what. The boy was clearly frowning to have no response from her elder sister even after she noticed him. He screamed once again, ‘Suhaanaaaaaa Didiiiiii’. This time a little scornfully. Miss Brown Eyes started moving towards the kid and bent before him to match his height. Her left knee almost touched the ground. And this was the first time that I was noticing her attire. She wore a light pink kurti over simple denims. But the simplicity of her clothes somehow heightened her attractiveness. It gave her a delicate irresistible touch. I was going weak on my knees. Suhana. Now I knew her name. Suhana. What a lovely name it was. All the while I was hoping subconsciously that she had a name that did justice to her. Not something like Pushpa or Sunita.  Suhana. The name did justice to her as she did justice to her name. Suhana. Suhana. The name was reverberating in my mind.

I saw her talking to the kid cheerfully with animated hand movements. The boy kept nodding obediently while giving looks to the other girl, her friend, once in a while. Even I had been looking at her friend occasionally so that the other girl doesn’t feel odd or something. Within a few moments I saw the boy walking back to the pandal, quite half-heartedly I thought. Suhana was once again with her friend now. There was loud naughty giggling between them.

Alright, I made up my mind; I am going to her, enough of waiting. The confidence I felt in the moment I decided to go to her instantly turned into anxiety the moment I made my first step towards her. But I had already made up my mind, ‘I am going to talk to her’. I noticed that she was aware I was approaching her. And she appeared okay with it. And this was relaxing me a great deal. I tried to put a sexy strut as I walked to her but I knew I was failing miserably. I was nearing closer to her. Some part of my brain was hoping that it was not a prank. The way she appeared encouraging to fact of me coming near her given that it was just a while back that she saw me, confused me a little. Why was she making herself so available? I was having slight doubts about her character. Come on!! I shook my head, not really, bit inside my mind. All this was perfectly fine. She might have found me interesting, so even she was taking a chance. What is wrong with that? I might have been just a few feet before her when i felt a heavy hand on my shoulders. I was startled to death. I heard the girls giggling. Honestly, they giggled too much. But I was terrorized. I hoped it was not her boyfriend or father. I turned my head. I saw a lady with a shabby makeup and a suspicious look staring at me with a questioning glance. I stood looking at her blankly. It was only after I got a slap from her that I realized that it was my mom standing in front of me.

‘Where were you all this while? I didn’t see you in the pandal even for a minute.’

‘But I was there for way more than a minute.’ But I realized I said it in such a low voice that I wasn’t really speaking but just mumbling. Mom gave me a confused look and said in her typically stern voice,                                                                                                                                                                 ‘What is the matter with you!! And don’t put up that innocent face. I know you better than that. Come, it’s time to go.’

‘This soon?’ This time I said the two words as clear as it can get. Mom was quite shocked to hear that. I hopelessly hoped mom would change her mind and stay back a little longer. On any other day she would have been glued to this place. I was let-down when she said, ‘No, we are late. We need to go.’ She said it so coldly and without even the slightest acknowledgment to my surprise at going so soon (given that I normally would do die to leave this place), that I was a little irritated, and more so because she had to come just when I was about to talk to Miss Brown Eyes. Suhana. What perfect timing!? I looked back and saw she was smiling and now looking straight at me, but I could also see from her lips a tinge of disappointment. I liked her being disappointed but I was greatly frustrated myself that I cannot go to her now. Not with my mom just at my back. Sadness grew within me. Before moving towards our car, I gave her one last look, and she still smiled. It was so hard to shift my glance from her face. It looked divine. Before opening the car door I looked at her friend, mainly out of courtesy, and was surprised to see a very pleasing smile from her too.

I took my place in the driver’s seat and with a deep sigh I thought I was definitely going to meet her again.

That night, even at home, lying on my bed, the thoughts about Suhana were haunting me. Earlier during dinner time I had been eating my dinner completely lost in her thoughts. I wasn’t really eating.  My hands were performing the task of grabbing the food from the plate and my mouth was doing the task of chewing and swallowing, which was it. But my mind was still reliving the first look of her that I caught. It did not matter that my favourite sarso ka saag was in front of me. I faintly remembered mom saying to dad that she is never going to take me to a religious event again if I am to become crazy like this. I had not reacted anything when mom had said that. But now lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I was smiling thinking about that. All my life I had made fun of the phenomena of ‘lost in her thoughts’, ‘crazy in love’, ‘sleepless nights’, ‘deep romantic sighs’. But I found myself laughing when I thought all this was happening with me.

 A week passed since that day. And I had not been able to meet her. For some reason I had decided that I am not going to tell my friends about this for the time being. Somewhere I had felt this was too personal and special a feeling, to be shared with anyone else. It had to be relished by me only. But the bigger reason had been they would have made me the butt of all jokes if I told them. But the week had been highly disheartening. I couldn’t even catch a one small glance of her. I had no lead where to find her. Every day I had been taking out my bike, in the mornings and evenings, and drive aimlessly around the neighbourhood, hoping to come across her. I had searched Facebook but got no relevant results. Every evening I spent close to two hours, in the park where I first saw her, but could never hit upon her. I had panicked wondering if she belonged to the locality or not. I was starting to lose all hope when I saw her, and that too right from my home. I was having my evening coffee in my balcony when I saw her moving along the street (with her friend again). I was stumped and exhilarated. I cannot lose her this time. I frantically started searching for my bike keys. It took me more time than usual to find the keys because of the impatience attack. They were lying inside my shoes. I ran towards slamming the front door shut behind me towards the parking area. I really didn’t care that I was in my trunks. I jumped onto my bike and within no time I was behind them, following them slowly. I knew there was no chance of losing her this time but still did not want to take any. I followed her for about 5minutes when I saw her entering a small building. ADARSH COACHING CENTRE. Adarsh coaching centre.  The three words rang a bell inside me and I knew why. My heart was smiling and turned my bike back towards home. As I drove, I thought, Shriya, I need your help.

At night at home, I dialled Shriya’s number. Shriya was my classmate at school. She wasn’t particularly a very good friend but I always suspected she thought of me as one. And frankly, I always called her up only when I needed her. But she did not seem to mind that ever. So even today when I was calling her up, it was for a reason. Shriya, I knew studied at the Adarsh Coaching Centre. And the last I knew, she went there the same time I saw Suhana entering the building. She picked up the phone immediately, possibly excited at me calling her. And she gave me the most enthusiastic ‘hi’ ever. ‘Hieeeeeeeeeeee !!!’

‘Hi Shriya,’

‘I can’t believe you called me.’

Even I can’t, I said in my mind, but I laughed and said ‘How are you Shriya?’

‘Oh, I am just fine.’

‘Hey Shriya, You still study at Adarsh right?’

‘Yeah I do.  But why ask?’

‘I wanted to inquire about somebody studying there.’

‘Don’t tell me you are going to ask me about Suhana’ she gave a naughty chuckle.

I was totally taken aback. How did she know about whom I was going to talk about? Suhana must have hinted about me to Shriya. Gosh, I was excited.

I asked her barely able to hide my excitement. ’Hey! How do you know that?’

She gave me one big throaty laugh. I had no patience to endure useless laughs right now. She said, ’Before I answer let me ask you something. Do you feel anything for Suhana?’

I held my phone completely puzzled. The girl was bang on with her questions. I feel everything for Suhana. But I did not say that to Shriya, of course. And anyway it wasn’t necessary now, I felt.

‘Hmm. Maybe a little’ I said that with a weird chuckle.’ That was perhaps the biggest understatement I ever uttered. But Shriya needed only that. She turned into a monstrous laugh. I was wondering whether it was a mocking laugh or a laugh of discovering something long pending.

Hardly able to control herself Shriya finally said,

‘Oh my God! Suhana is going to be so happy. She had been so smitten by you from such a long time. She would have never thought in her wildest dreams that you would come yourself finding her. This is unbelievable. She would...’

Shriya kept on speaking. But I was already somewhere else. All this seemed too good to be true. It was like the perfect dream where everything happened as expected, perhaps, even better than expected, than hoped. I felt like the luckiest person on earth. There she was a girl who I fell for in my first look and she had been looking out for me all the while. How much more splendid it can be? It was like the sudden winning of a lottery, without notice, without any indication. All this felt so surreal. Mine was the most straightforward love story ever. I felt blessed.

Shriya was still blabbering with excitement, ’....Suhana won’t believe it. She will cry out of joy.... Hey are you there?’

‘Yeah I am. I am quite surprised and glad to hear all this. But how do you know all this?’

‘Everybody in our coaching batch knows about this. It’s such a gossip in our classroom. She had told her friends how she feels about you. And she is completely obsessed with you. But she is kind of shy. That is the reason she never approached you herself. But she has been planning to. She told us that you had been looking at her at the Durga Puja. She didn’t sleep that night out of the thrill.’

I was exhilarated. But I asked, ‘Wow. This is fantastic. This is so cool. But tell me something. How does she know me?’

‘Oh she always complains about that. She had first seen you at the sports center practicing basketball. She was infatuated the moment thereafter. She made her excuses of badminton practise sessions to catch a glimpse of you at the sports center. And she always complained you never caught her sight. She is a pretty girl to be ignored. And hey, you have to give me some credit. I stuffed her up with things like how great a person you are, how funny you are and all. You know what I mean.’ She gave a giggle to end her statement. What’s up with girls and giggles?

I was suddenly feeling important. I felt, all the while I had been underestimating myself. I was way too hot than I imagined. I was way too attractive than I thought. And to get a girl like Suhana attracted towards me was by no means a small feat. I had suspected that she was interested in me that night of Durga Puja. How right I was. I wasn’t able to hold back my eagerness. I wanted to meet her immediately. I was blushing immensely when I asked her

‘Hey. I want to meet her. Can you setup a meeting?’

‘Of course I can. She will be ready to meet you any time. She will be ready to meet you even now. She is so keen for that one date with you. She has been waiting for more than a year.’

‘It seems her wait is over. Can you arrange a meet up tomorrow?’

‘Most definitely yes! Wait, I will tell her about this and call you back. Okay?’

‘Well, yeah.’

‘Don’t worry. I know you guys are going to meet tomorrow.’

I was waiting for her next call. I was thrilled immeasurably. I couldn’t recall when I had been so thrilled the last time. Maybe, never. Being on the cloud nine, I knew now how it felt. This was a reward I never saw coming. I was waiting for the call back from Shriya and the wait felt like a never ending wait. I had developed a liking for Shriya. I held my mobile phone in my hands waiting for the ring. And it rang.

I waited for one round of ring before picking it up. I heard Shriya’ voice

‘Oh Abhay! She was so ecstatic. She wouldn’t believe me. She just wouldn’t believe me. She made me swear a thousand times before she believed me. She was finding it so difficult to manage her elation. She was crying out of joy. Oh how happy she sounded......She will meet you tomorrow. At the Azad Park, where you saw her for the first time, at 5 in the evening. It’s okay with you right?’

‘Of course, tell her I will be there when she comes.’

We exchanged few more pleasantries over phone before hanging up. Suddenly I was feeling nervous. I was going to meet her finally. After 8 days of uncertainty. The wait certainly felt long. And I wanted to do justice to the wait by making the meet as memorable as it can get. All of a sudden I was getting fussed up over petty things like what I should be wearing, what should I be saying to her, what should be my hairstyle, should I sport a stubble or not, should I dress casually or sporty, what fragrance should I be wearing. I wanted to create a lasting impression of our first date. And I was all over the place thinking hard for that. It was late when I finally slept. Not because I was feeling sleepy but because I thought I should be sleeping. I wanted to showcase to her my best form.

I was finally going to meet her today. All day long I was pacing here and there out of sheer impatience. 5 o’ clock seemed like a distant time. All my usual favourite pastimes were failing to help me get over the eagerness to meet her. I was looking at the clock every 15 minutes as a convict waits for his release. Mom had been repeatedly asking, ‘What’s keeping you so worked up.’ I excused her questions by mumbling something that did not make much sense. By the time it was 3 I was working on my opening lines to her. So, finally we meet. Naah, that sounded too formal. So I suppose you know why we are here. Nope, that sounded like an underground criminal business. I left my experiments with opening lines after a few more futile attempts. I thought, let it better come spontaneously. When it was 4.30 I could not wait any longer and biked my way to the meeting venue. I sat on the same bench where I had first seen her sitting. The sun was still shining but it was calm late October evening sun. It lent certain cheerfulness to the park and the children who were playing there. 25 more minutes to go. I started re-imagining the night she first hit me. Oh, I could never forget my first sight on her. Those who say, love at first sight does not exist, are those who never had the luck to feel it. I had felt it. And now I believed that such a thing does exist.

It was 5. I turned my head towards the park entrance. There was no sight of her. She is on her way, I thought. But I was feeling a little uneasy. 5 minutes had passed since 5 pm and my head was fixed upon the entrance now. I had already started getting concerned when I finally saw her entering through the park gate.  I imagined flowers being showered upon her for one split second. She looked so heavenly. She wore blue casual top and black jeans. And she walked as if she ruled the world. Of course she did. She had an easy smile on her face. I stood up and started walking towards her. Once again I had not noticed her same friend that was just behind her. She carried a strangely mysterious smile. Who was she, her bodyguard or something? I hoped she would not be nosy when Suhana and I will get into relationship. We were now approaching each other. My heart was racing as I made my steps. I was trying to walk as gentlemanly as possible. And there we were facing each other. I kept looking at her, studying her face, her nose, her chin, and her eyebrows and appreciating the delicate precision by which they were made. But for some reason the joy in her face seemed abruptly lost. She was looking quite puzzled and questioning. As if I should have asked her permission before looking at her face. I was taken aback. I had felt the liberty to explore her face. She managed a smile and turned her head towards her friend. Her friend carried the same expression as Suhana but with a little more intensity. Her friend’s eyes seemed insisting something. I smiled to her and she appeared blushing a little. I was a little confused myself. I could not make out what her and her friend’s look suggested. I looked into Suhana’s face again and her eyes seemed to say, ‘So?’ I was not seeing the kind of enthusiasm I was expecting. But I spoke the first words looking at Suhana. ‘Let’s take a walk around the park.’

Suhana appeared amused and at the same time bewildered. She looked at her friend who looked back at her with a vacant expression. Then she looked at me inquiringly. Why was her friend giving me looks as if I had committed a crime? But Suhana was no better. Suhana replied, ‘Well. I’m not sure. What about her?’ Suhana asked pointing at her friend. I was annoyed a little that she should be so concerned about her friend even at this moment. Why did she have to bring her friend in the first place? But I answered meekly, ‘I guess, she can wait for a little while.’ I looked at her friend. She looked uncertain but nodded smiling.

Suhana looked at her friend doubtfully but her friend nodded in a way that said go ahead. Suhana said looking at me, ‘Alright. Let’s take a walk.’ I was annoyed that she had to take permission of her friend for even a walk.

Her friend sat on a nearby bench as me and Suhana started walking along the footpath along the park boundary. Suhana was the first one to speak this time. ‘So is there anything you want to know.’

I was dazed. She didn’t seem even close to the Suhana that Shriya had told me about last night. I was having a sinking feeling inside my heart. I asked her boldly, ‘What’s wrong Suhana.’ The moment I finished the sentence she looked at me wide eyed. She said with louder voice,

‘What do you mean Suhana? I am not Suhana.’

‘What???’

‘I am not Suhana. She is.’ She pointed at her friend sitting at the park bench.

‘What??’

‘What is the matter with you? Are you joking or what? You came here to meet her right?’

‘I.....I came...’

‘What Abhay?’

‘I came to see you.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I came to see you. You are not Suhana?’

‘God, No. You are impossible. How could you think that I am Suhana?’

‘I...I..that night when that kid called out Suhaanaa Didi..you were the one who went upto him..no..?’

‘Oh God. You got it all wrong. He had been calling her only. I thought you were coming to her. So I went to him, made up an excuse and told him that her sister would be coming in a while. He never argues with me. So I went to him.’

‘But..but..you were looking at me. I was looking at you all the while.’

‘What? You were looking at me? We both thought you were looking at her. We were both looking at you. And I was smiling for her sake. Not for you. God, this is incredulous.’

‘Tell me you are joking.’

‘Why would I be joking? Oh poor Suhana.’

‘Uh...What is your name?’

‘I am Gita.’

I was completely blank by now. I asked her daringly.

‘You have a boyfriend?’

‘You are trying to hit on me!! Stretch your neck and look behind the entrance gates.’

 A tall hunky muscular boy was sitting on a bike. He had a stern expression.

She continued,’ Saw him? Well that is my boyfriend.’

I turned my back and started walking. I could hear her calling my name out but I did not turn back. I leapt across the park fence, sat on my bike and turned the keys. It was only after I reached home that I started crying.